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2005-10-09 - 7:35 p.m.

I know, I'm lazy. 'Nuff said.

The 21 Rules of Halloween
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves do not check for short circuits; just get out.
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at east twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to he nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.
18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.
19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight, not a candle.
20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.

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2005-09-01 - 6:25 p.m.

I have but two things to share with you right now...

~ Call 1-800-HELP-NOW to donate by phone (To ensure that your donation goes directly to those in need of Hurricane Relief, please tell the donation operator that you would like to restrict your donation to Hurricane 2005 Relief)

~ Donate by mail, and commit to sending a check donation to:
American Red Cross Katrina Disaster Relief Fund
P.O. Box 37243
Washington DC 20013
(To ensure that your donation goes directly to those in need of Hurricane Relief, please note on your check that the funds are restricted only to Hurricane 2005 Relief)

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2005-08-29 - 12:27 p.m.

I've been searching around for a different site to host my blog. Thus, I haven't been all too active here on a consistent basis, along with all the life stuff that I allow myself to get bogged down with several times a year.

We are still trying to get things unpacked after the move. A slight case of influenza knocked us both down. Then, our annual barbeque which we were hurried into pulling off, took place. I finaly got my permanancy(sp?) nod at work so the pressure is off there.

More importantly:
Last week Grigley Munster (yes he was named after my first skateboard, he was the last bit of my life before T, and he was also a kitty who I have known for half of this lifetime) took a turn for the worse. I understand that euthanasia is "humane" but I still find it a hard pill to swallow that it can be my decision to end his life. I know he isn't suffering now - I get that - but I also know that I will be left with that doubt for the rest of my life. Doubt and a profound sadness. Hopefully Pru and Tierney will make their way to him and Pru can start babying him the way she used to when they were all running amuck in a shy, twenty-one-year old's apartment in Seattle.

Every now and again I would like to be able to simply flip a switch and turn off my emotions - if only for a brief span of time.

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2005-08-01 - 6:23 p.m.

Mwah ha ha... now that the move is accomplished, the plague has passed, and the dust is settling let's try to slowly return to our normally scheduled outbursts by moi, shall we?

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

1. One to deny that the light bulb needs to be changed.

2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed.

3. One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb.

4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs.

5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb.

6. One to photograph Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a ladder, under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished!

7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark.

8. One to viciously smear #7.

9. One to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along.

10. One to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

11. And finally, one to explain that 911 changed everything, including the light bulb.

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2005-05-22 - 2:26 p.m.

So, here we go, our offer was accepted and now (two days later) there is a counter offer that gives us three days to get a solid offer on our house and then make sure it all closes in 30 days or we lose the house we are going after. I really dislike these sort of rides but I am more than willing to ride it through if the end result is the house we are busting our asses for right now. I know, "if it's meant to be it will happen," but please, please, please.

I been a vewwy good kid, really ...

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2005-05-15 - 9:34 a.m.

We wrote up an offer on a house & property last night. It should be presented to the seller today. We should have an answer by tomorrow evening. *gulp* It looks as though our house is going on the market either Monday or Tuesday. *double gulp* If all goes well the offer will be accepted and our house will have an offer in the first week of listing. Easy-peasy, right? *faint*

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2005-05-13 - 5:18 a.m.

So I have an eighties-themed birthday party to attent in June. Do you think I can pull of Michael Meyer's? Hey, the costume is a jumpsuit, backwards Shatner mask, and a really big knife. What's not to like about that kind of simplicity?

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2005-04-24 - 4:50 p.m.

Okay, here's what's what:

~ Been doing the finishing touches on the house, getting it ready to sell, have I mentioned that I am really beginning to loathe painting?
~ Picked up the new Ani disc. Can't stay that I really like but I don't altogether dislike it. Will give it a chance to grow on me as a whole.
~ Picked up the new Garbage disc - love it. Grabbed the Killers and Joss Stone also - love 'em both.
~ Finally got a chance to see The Woodsman last night - incredible film that will inevitably freak most people out - Kevin Bacon deserved a nod for his acting. Will try and review it this week.
~ Been fighting off some weird flu bug going around - two weeks now but it seems to be getting the hint and looking for a place to move on to.
~ Washington State lawmakers turned down the gay rights bill last week 25-24 so it is still legal to discriminate against gays and lesbians here - bet my old job is thrilled about that one.
~ Finally got an iPod to listen to at work - love it - would marry it if I could. Review soon, I hope.

Thems the main things that come up. I'll try and stay on top of things more so that you don't feel the need to harass me into it (you know who you are and I love you all for keeping me to it).

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2005-04-02 - 8:51 a.m.

Words you never want to hear, "I'm sorry ma'am but it seems you are a victim of identity theft."

I'd like to think I caught it fast enough but time will tell. One full day of worked missed, an ear ache from the dozens of phone calls to be made, writers cramp from all of the forms to fill out, and a new (and continual) feeling of concern over any future purchases... as well as the general concern over just where this person(s) managed to get a hold of my personal information.

Grrr.

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2005-03-16 - 7:13 p.m.

Every day I fear my government more:

GOP Attaches Alaska Oil Drilling to Budget
Maneuver Avoids Democratic Filibuster on Controversial Measure

WASHINGTON (March 16) - A closely divided Senate voted Wednesday to approve oil drilling in an Alaska wildlife refuge, a major victory for President Bush and a stinging defeat for environmentalists who have fought the idea for decades.

By a 51-49 vote, the Senate put a refuge drilling provision in next year's budget, depriving opponents of the chance to use a filibuster to try to block it. Filibusters, which require 60 votes to overcome, have been used to defeat drilling proposals in the past.

Environmentalists said while the vote was disappointing, they haven't given up the fight. "It only strengthens our resolve to protect America's most pristine national wildlife refuge for our children's future," said Larry Schweiger, president of the National Wildlife Federation.

"The battle is far from over," said Lexi Keogh of the Alaska Wilderness League. She said environmentalists will push to keep the ANWR provision out of a final budget document.

"The fact is it's going to be destructive," Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., said during debate on an amendment that would have stripped the drilling language from the budget measure. Democrats fell two votes short of the 51 needed.

Kerry and other drilling opponents argued that more oil would be saved than ANWR could produce if Congress enacted an energy policy focusing on conservation, more efficient cars and trucks and increased reliance on renewable fuels.

Drilling supporters countered that the refuge's oil can be pumped while still protecting the environment and wildlife.

"We won't see this oil for 10 years. It will have minimal impact," argued Sen. Maria Cantwell, D-Wash. "It is foolish to say oil development and a wildlife refuge can coexist."

Amen.

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2005-03-15 - 5:17 a.m.

Mount Kilimanjaro Shows No Snowcap for First Time in 11,000 Years
By Jeremy Lovell, Reuters

Mount Kilimanjaro's lost 80 percent of its ice fields in the past century.

LONDON (March 14) - A photo of Mount Kilimanjaro stripped of its snowcap for the first time in 11,000 years will be used as dramatic testimony for action against global warming as ministers from the world's biggest polluters meet Tuesday.

Gathering in London for a two-day brainstorming session on the environment agenda of Britain's presidency of the Group of Eight rich nations, the environment and energy ministers from 20 countries will be handed a book containing the stark image of Africa's tallest mountain, among others.

"This is a wake-up call and an unequivocal message that a low-carbon global economy is necessary, achievable and affordable," said Steve Howard of the Climate Group charity which organized the book and an associated exhibition.

"We are breaking climate change out of the environment box. This crisis affects all of us. This is a global challenge and we need real leadership to address these major problems -- and these ministers can give that leadership," he told Reuters.

Whattya think it'll take to get Bush and others to recognize this problem? Global warmin', what's that?

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2005-03-02 - 6:34 p.m.

Dear Dogs and Cats,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time -- there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is to kiss me and then go smell the other dogs or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

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2005-02-19 - 7:48 a.m.

This made me laugh my ass off, oh yes it did.

A SUCCINCT ANALYSIS OF THE AMERICAN ELECTION:

"The Democrats' mistake was in thinking that a disastrous war and national bankruptcy would be of concern to the electorate.

The Republicans correctly saw that the chief concern of the electorate was to keep gay couples from having an abortion."

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2005-02-12 - 11:12 p.m.

How do birds hold onto high wires without any hands?
~ Anastasia Screamed

I think I am adopting this as my new job motto. I have been given the feeling that they expect much from me. My thought process (and I say this through clamped teeth) is that I have no opinion other than the one given to me by the person inquiring, I have no husband (roommate, concubine, partner, life-partner, favorite dog, friend that is a girl... basically anything that is legally not protected in this state... you know, meaning my life), I love to work outdoors in the pouring rain, overtime is my friend, chemicals are good, having an original thought is bad-bad, what is opera?, what is an independent film?, I will NOT burst into flame if I should actually be forced to enter a church, my fish really don't have names as though they were a part of my family (nor do my goats which I don't really consider family), oh yeah and it's really okay to say things like "don't be such a fag," and "dude, that is so gay," around me because...

I am so the "team player" that has no life other than one which is legally sanctioned in my state of residence. I am not a sellout; I am not a sellout... I so don't fucking suck...

Does it count that it is for a good cause? Survival is a good enough cause, no? I am really struggling with trying to keep this in a Zen place at the moment. I crossed over, I know, but I can do this... that which requires me to be a lesser citizen in which to sustain my family�s well-being.

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2005-02-02 - 1:45 p.m.

While reading this article I was taken back to my partner's car accident a few years ago and the medical bills that consistently piled up thereafter. Yeah, it's nice to know that it wasn't just us but still, can't we get a governing body into office that will take something like this seriously?

"Unless you're Bill Gates, you're just one serious illness away from bankruptcy," said Dr. David Himmelstein, the study's lead author and an associate professor of medicine. "Most of the medically bankrupt were average Americans who happened to get sick."

2 million
Estimated number of people affected annually by medical bankruptcies

76 percent
Portion of medical bankruptcy filers in the Harvard study who had health insurance

$11,854
Average out-of-pocket costs for the illness that led to bankruptcy

"Medical coverage is becoming more for catastrophic loss than for intermediate expenses," Jeff Morris, resident scholar at the American Bankruptcy Institute.

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2005-01-29 - 10:58 a.m.

So, I just got a new camera recently - I finally got the digital one I have been wishin' and hopin' for - filter kit and a lens should be here next week. There is so much more, different but more, you can do with a digital. I guess the trick now is to see if I can master it as well as I can my SLR (pictures to follow once I can get them scaled down on this crazy site).

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2005-01-18 - 12:39 p.m.

A little long but I couldn't pass up sharing this one.

Who's On First for the Next Generation

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report hereabout the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he used to be in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

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2005-01-16 - 8:55 a.m.

I received this from a friend the other day and got a good laugh out of it.

DEAR ABBY,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious in a big way, although I don't quite understand it. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ. And now he has been going to the gym an awful lot and is into wearing uniforms and cowboy outfits, and I hate to think what that means. Finally, the last straw, he's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed, Lost in DC

Dear Lost:
Stop whining, Laura. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with him for four more years!

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2005-01-07 - 1:23 p.m.

Four great ideas:

CONSTITUTION
- They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years, and well, we're not using it anymore.

TEN COMMANDMENTS
- The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is that if you post "Thou Shalt Not Steal", "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery", and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians it creates a hostile working environment.

ZERO GRAVITY
- When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion dollars developing a pen that writes in zero gravity
upside-down on almost any surface including glass and at below freezing
to over 300C. The Russians used a pencil. Your taxes are due again -- enjoy paying them.

COWS
- Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps, in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around in our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.

Food for thought.

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2004-12-28 - 6:25 p.m.

For anyone searching for a way to help after the devastation abroad, here are a few links:

Anyone searching for information on a U.S. citizen feared missing, contact the U.S. State Department at 888-407-4747

For donations:
American Red Cross
International Response Fund
PO Box 37243
Washington, DC 20013
800-HELP NOW
Redcross.org

Doctors Without Borders/Medecins Sans Frontieres
PO Box 2247
New York, NY 10116-2247
888-392-0392
Doctors Without Borders

International Medical Corps
11500 West Olympic Blvd., Suite 506
Los Angeles, CA 90064
800-481-4462
International Medical Corps

Mercy Corps
PO Box 2669
Portland, OR 97208
800-852-2100
Mercy Corps

Relief International
11965 Venice Blvd. .405
Los Angeles, CA 90066
800-572-3332
Relief International

Save the Children
Asia Earthquake/Tidal Wave Relief Fund
54 Wilton Road
Westport, CT 06880
800-728-3843
Save the Children

World Relief
7 E. Baltimore St.
Baltimore, MD 21202
443-451-1900
World Relief

World Vision
PO Box 70288
Tacoma, Washington 98481-0288
888-56-CHILD
World Vision

I know many of you want to donate clothing, etc., and for some people that is all they feel they have but the real need right now is to get money to the organizations that are in a position to help those in the disaster struck areas. When it comes down to it, if all you have is fifty cents, it goes a lot further than simply not doing anything.

Do what you can, please.

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2004-11-17 - 6:44 p.m.

I get the whole people are people deal (as well as the other corny Depeche Mode songs) and I have consistently told my closest friends and my partner that my parents do things that other parents wouldn�t do � to their own children, members of their family, and those around them. For a long time my partner and her family didn�t believe me � you know, people being inherently good and all that.

I never really thought that my parents would make a profit off their own child. Not such a sizable profit � especially when they were in a position to help that child and her family in lieu of profiting off them. I guess I have just gotten so used to seeing my mother�s crap aimed at me that I never dreamt of seeing it aimed at my little sister.

Suddenly I don�t feel as bad for all those times during my childhood that I solicited my friend�s parents in an attempt to get them to adopt me.

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2004-11-14 - 10:22 a.m.

Damn you Montana and Georgia, damn you - states I will prolly never make the time to visit:

2004 Ballot Initiatives Banning Same-Sex Marriage and Civil Unions
(percent for - percent against)

Arkansas 75-25
Georgia 76-24
Kentucky 75-25
Michigan 59-41
Mississippi 86-14*
Montana 67-33*
North Dakota 73-27
Ohio 62-38
Oklahoma 76-24
Oregon 57-43*
Utah 66-34

* banned same-sex marriage, not civil unions

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2004-11-13 - 11:27 a.m.

So, I have been reading the occasional story from this county and that county with regard to how people voted and such (I know I'll never understand it but still I try) and I found this to be of interest. Churchill County, Nevada carried Bush by 72%. At the same time they also voted 63% not to ban their brothels. Hoo-wee down here in Churchill County we loves us some titties and a racist, homophobic, egomaniacal President.

Give me a sec; I am still searching for the logic in this.

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2004-11-12 - 11:47 p.m.

Okay, so at this point in time I have allowed several things to build up at once. Let me elaborate, shall I?

~ I got this link from my sis: Sorry Everybody. Seriously, go and check out these 3,000 plus pics (maybe not all in one sitting). The blog is called �Sorry Everybody� and it is compiled of people all over the planet (especially in the States) and their feelings about this last election here - some funny, some supportive, some disgusted, and many just plain sad. Our contribution follows toward the end� or at least the end (page 300 and counting right now) as I type this (I'll figure out the page number and post it). I encourage you all to join in. It is truly cathartic in a sense.

~ The fact that my unemployment is being withheld until my past employer (the one that terminated my employment without cause or warning) responds - because we all know they have so many other things to do in human resources than deal with one of sixty-five employees (can you say small town desperately wanting to be Seattle)? Anyway, big annoyance. I have moved beyond, �hey, that�s not fair,� and all the other legal �no-no�s� to simply just wishing we could move on because you know, when you terminate someone�s employment after you have outted them for being homosexual and truth be told it was simply easier (and more cost effective) to let them go before they had a lawsuit one would think that you�d allow them unemployment in the hope that they�d fade away. C�mon, toss the lesbian a bone, will ya.

~ MoveOn.org also has a petition up regarding the six or so Congressmen (people) who are looking into the �possible� fraud during this past election. Now, I know it�s hard to believe that there may have been some form of fraud involved (oh hell, am I going to burst into flames for lying)? Anyway, you can sign the petition in support of their look-see by going here: Investigate the Vote

~ My sister is rarely (and at the most inopportune moments) an ASS. Would love to take the review thing further sis. Wanna do it with you and not the several people I have been approached by. I believed ya when you said you wanna too. Now, two weeks into my unemployment, with all the time in the world on my hands I am still at a loss as to why we haven�t and why you refuse to discuss it any further with me. Is this meant to be a light bulb moment?

~ I finally got my camcorder back from friends we loaned it to upon the birth of their new horse-baby. The camcorder is trashed, nasty, messy-gunk stuck to it and bits missing. Left a message on their answering machine. Left �em both an email message. They live less than two blocks away from us. What the fuck is the damage?

And now I feel I must go, fly, be free, or at least try and act as though I�ve not a care in the world. Never fear, VAWC may be on the back burner but it is always in our thoughts. *wink, wink*

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2004-11-06 - 6:44 p.m.

In an attempt to think of anything but the fear of my goverment and now 53% of my fellow countrypersons I have decided to start a, err, well, I'm starting a movement. Not just any movement, oh no, this movement will be called VAWC, Truth be told, it doesn't really roll off the tongue as one would hope but the sentiment is there.

"The sentiment," you query?

"Why yes my inquisitive friend," I reply, secretly hoping that you aren't from Ohio.

[Okay fine, I can't completely get away from black Tuesday but I AM trying to.]Anyway...

VAWC - Vaginas Are Way Cool. Seriously, I am now in the process of aquiring stickers and making fridge magnets. Ooh, and caps. Ooh again, it's winter, a scarf or two?

This was all spurred on by a 'party' I attended some time ago and sort-of forgot about. But now the packages have arrived and it's like sex-toy Chistmas here in the northwest. Hoo yah, I loves bein' a girl.

More explanation later...

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2004-11-05 - 10:57 a.m.

I received this from a friend yesterday, it pretty much says it all. Am I the only one thinking succession?

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2004-11-02 - 10:21 p.m.

'You people' are friggin' nutballs.

Four more years of THIS?

This is certainly some cruel joke. Please tell me this is all a terrible, terrible dream.

Un-fucking-believable.

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2004-10-27 - 9:56 a.m.

Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind...And when the drums of war have reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has closed, the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded with patriotism, will offer up all of their rights unto the leader, and gladly so. How do I know? For this is what I have done. And I am Caesar.
~ William Shakespeare

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2004-10-24 - 8:59 a.m.

I ran across thi read today. The entire story is much longer (and very interesting) but I will just give the first couple of paragraphs. A link to the entire story can be found after this excerpt.

To Be Silenced, Or Not to Be: That is the Question
By Debi Smith
CommonDreams.org

Thursday 21 October 2004

"Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us."
-Justice William O. Douglas

Last week, both vice presidential nominee John Edwards and President George W. Bush visited Southern Oregon. Considering the area is relatively rural, sparsely populated, and Oregon is a state that usually gets little attention in a presidential election, it was an unprecedented and rather exciting occasion. I decided to try and get tickets to both events for my kids and myself.

Getting tickets from the Jackson County Democratic Party Headquarters for the Edwards event was pleasant and easy. They didn't ask me to declare a party, didn't ask who I was voting for, didn't ask me to provide personal information or a DNA sample.

Not so at the Jackson County GOP headquarters. First they wanted to know my name, address, phone number, email, and my driver's license number. "Do they really have the time, funds, and need to run all this data through some security check? What are they afraid of?" I asked myself. But hey, if it'll get me some tickets, I'll grudgingly fill out the application.

It didn't get me the tickets. "Are you a Bush supporter?" I was asked. I explained that I was a registered Independent and not necessarily a Bush supporter. "Are you going to vote for Bush?" I was asked. "No," I honestly, and out of curiosity to see what would happen, replied. I was summarily told that if I wasn't planning on voting for Bush, I wasn't welcome. "John" came over to make sure I got the message. I told him I'd taken my kids to similar events (we saw Clinton and Gore in 1996) and didn't he think it was good to get my kids involved in the democratic process early? To take them to events such as these and let them make up their own minds? I guess not. He just kept repeating, in a rather intimidating way, that if I wasn't a supporter, I wasn't welcome. (Funny how he wasn't worried about how this sort of attitude might affect the future of the Republican Party. Hmm.)

The rest of Debi's article can be found here: Truthout.org

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2004-10-16 - 7:14 p.m.

The 2004 election was deadlocked. The Electoral College vote was
tied; Congress was split right down the middle; and the Supreme Court
decided to sit the whole thing out. What a mess.

The final deal was this: Bush and Kerry agreed to an ice fishing
contest on a frozen lake in northern Minnesota. They went completely
alone, and they were on their honor to let the guy who caught the
most fish in five days become president.

On the first day they headed out in different directions. Kerry
brought back seven fish; Bush got none. On the second day, Kerry had
a dozen; again, Dubya came back empty-handed. When Kerry dumped
twenty-five beauties out of his creel on day three, and Dubya still
hadn't caught a single one, he got worried and telephoned Cheney for
advice.

"He must be pulling a fast one," suggested the VP.

"Yeah," said W, "I bet that's it. So whatta I do now?"

"Tomorrow, Mr. President, forget about the fish. Just follow Kerry,
and we'll expose him."

That night Bush called Cheney and told him excitedly, "You were
right, Dick, the sumbitch is cheatin'."

"How?"

"He's cuttin' holes in the ice!"

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2004-10-09 - 10:13 a.m.

The Mystery of the Bulge in the Jacket
By ELISABETH BUMILLER, The New York Times
WASHINGTON, Oct. 8 - What was that bulge in the back of President Bush's suit jacket at the presidential debate in Miami last week?

According to rumors racing across the Internet this week, the rectangular bulge visible between Mr. Bush's shoulder blades was a radio receiver, getting answers from an offstage counselor into a hidden presidential earpiece. The prime suspect was Karl Rove, Mr. Bush's powerful political adviser.

When the online magazine Salon published an article about the rumors on Friday, the speculation reached such a pitch that White House and campaign officials were inundated with calls.

First they said that pictures showing the bulge might have been doctored. But then, when the bulge turned out to be clearly visible in the television footage of the evening, they offered a different explanation.

"There was nothing under his suit jacket," said Nicolle Devenish, a campaign spokeswoman.

"It was most likely a rumpling of that portion of his suit jacket, or a wrinkle in the fabric."

Ms. Devenish could not say why the "rumpling" was rectangular.

Nor was the bulge from a bulletproof vest, according to campaign and White House officials; they said Mr. Bush was not wearing one.

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2004-10-04 - 6:41 p.m.

Voter Registration Sweeping the Nation
Deluge Hints at What to Expect in November

(Oct. 4) - In a glimpse of what the nation might see a month from now, people lined up at election offices and caused parking lot traffic jams as voter registration deadlines fell Monday in more than a dozen states.

Many officials reported record numbers of new voters, some said they were overwhelmed, and allegations were already flying about fraud and the disqualification of some voters' applications.

"They're coming in, in buckets," said Pamela Swafford, deputy director of Ohio's Hamilton County board of elections. By Monday morning, the county that includes Cincinnati had 64,045 new voter registrations on hand, more than twice the 29,178 it received four years ago.

Pennsylvania's suburban Montgomery County, the state's largest Republican-leaning county, saw a bigger surge than the past two elections, with three Democrats registering for every two Republicans, said Joseph R. Passarella, the county's director of voter services. An analysis by the Akron (Ohio) Beacon Journal found that registration was up higher in that state's traditionally Democratic counties, and not as high in counties that usually vote GOP.

"Presidential (elections) are always busy - but it was never before like this," Nyikita said. "We can barely keep up with opening the mail."

The glass is half full, the glass IS half full, the glass is half full - chant with me, won't you?...

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2004-09-30 - 9:22 p.m.

House Defeats Gay Marriage Ban
"Because activist judges and local officials in some parts of the country are seeking to redefine marriage for the rest of the country, we must remain vigilant in defending traditional marriage," the president said.

And, on a lighter note, did anyone else out there really understand what the hell Bush was saying in response to the specific questions he was asked? Did he answer directly one question? Did this guys education stop after the 8th grade? I mean, c'mon, people want a schoolyard bully as their president? Some kid that pushes weaker kids around and doesn't quite get a woman's freedom of choice? Someone who thinks that his ego is bigger than yours even if he doesn't quite comprehend the English language but has the power to ban any foreign born (foreign-speaking) human from HIS country?

Newsflash people: We don't live in Bush's Texas. This is America. America, where black folks in Florida DO have a right to vote. America, where women do have a right to choose their own destiny. America, where parents DO have a right to stand up for their children whom they DO NOT want to die in a foreign country so that BUSH and CHENEY'S families can get richer on the spoils of Iraq's oil. America, where we still understand the power of Alaska's wilderness and the value of our National Forests.

C'mon people. This election. Next month's election. VOTE AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED UPON IT... because it does. If not you directly then your children's lives.

This isn't simply about a little black dot on a piece of paper, a hanging chad, the touch of a monitor in a voting booth. This is about backdoor drafts, a woman's right to choose, America's place in this world, the greenhouse effect, gay and lesbian rights, our (and future generations) childrens future.

There is so much at stake this election... don't throw it away. Don't take it lightly. YOUR vote counts. More importantly, YOUR vote matters in the state of beings. Show the rest of the world that America isn't an ego-dominated, self-centered, Muslim/Women/Black/Oriental/Hispanic/Native American-hating country.

Tell George Bush to go home.

Please.

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2004-09-26 - 7:15 p.m.

I received a list of Bushisms from a friend the other day that made me laugh my ass of and then... well, then I came to my senses and realized this guy is really the President of the United States. Gawd help us all. Any way, a couple favorites:

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today.
You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

-George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., May 27, 2004

"Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the
illiteracy level of our children are appalling."

-George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

"Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life." -George W. Bush, Annandale, Va, Aug. 9, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." -George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., May 25, 2004

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2004-09-17 - 8:43 p.m.

It's been a rough week. Let me simply impart this upon you for now:

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2004-08-27 - 7:15 p.m.

How to start each day with a positive outlook...

1. Open a new file on your PC.

2. Name it "George Bush."

3. Send it to the trash.

4. Empty the trash.

5. Your PC will ask you, "do you really want to get rid of George Bush?"

6. Answer calmly, "yes," and press the mouse button firmly.

Don't you feel better now?

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2004-08-18 - 4:39 p.m.

If I knew the correct way to pull this PDF file up and show you I would do so but, alas, I don't. You'll just have to trust me and go the link I have provided for the Bearing Witness Campaign

Take some time to read both of the full page ads The Orion Society is raising funds to run in the New York Times during the Republican Convention.

There always seems to be at least some calm in knowing every now and again that you aren't alone in your thoughts.

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2004-08-12 - 12:17 p.m.

On the heels of King County Superior Court Judge William Downing's ruling last week that same-sex marriage is legal in Washington State (albeit stayed until the state Supreme Court reviews the case) comes the ruling from San Francisco today:

Thursday, August 12, 2004 3:09 p.m. By DAVID KRAVETS Associated Press Writer SAN FRANCISCO (AP) --

"The California Supreme Court on Thursday voided the nearly 4,000 same-sex marriages sanctioned in San Francisco this year and ruled unanimously that the mayor overstepped his authority by issuing licenses to gay and lesbian couples.

The court did not resolve whether the California Constitution would permit a same-sex marriage, ruling instead on the limits of authority regarding local government officials.

Missouri voters this month endorsed a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage - a move designed to prevent that state's judiciary from agreeing with the arguments Newsom is making in California.

A state constitutional challenge by gays in Massachusetts prompted that state's highest court to endorse the gay marriages that began there in May. A judge in Washington State this month also ruled in favor of gay marriage, pending a resolution from that state's top court.

Louisiana residents are to vote on the same issue Sept. 18. Then Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Montana, Oklahoma, Oregon and Utah are to vote Nov. 2. Initiatives are pending in Michigan, North Dakota and Ohio.

Four states _ Alaska, Hawaii, Nebraska and Nevada _ already have similar amendments in their constitutions."

Sure, color me dismayed, but still holding onto the dream.

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2004-08-12 - 9:30 a.m.

No, it's not another Bushism, or is it...

Aug. 10: Niceville, Florida,

Asked about his receptiveness to replacing the current IRS code with a consumption tax -- a subject of much discussion among Bush's agenda-starved economic advisers these days -- the President replied that he's giving the idea a hard look. "It's an interesting idea," he said. "You know, I'm not exactly sure how big the national sales tax is going to have to be [to raise enough revenue], but it's the kind of interesting idea that we ought to explore seriously."

By penalizing short-term consumption, it would encourage savings and long-term investment.

Now correct me if I am wrong here but it would seem to me that most of my friends and peers don't have the money right now for long-term investment and just barely have enough to squirrel away into some form of savings account. That would leave, what is the nice term for it, short term consumption correct? Maybe it's just me but I constantly feel as though I am being repremanded or ts-ts-tsked every single time Bush speaks. I rather miss having someone in office who seemed to think about more than his rich friends, making money off a war he started, and didn't speak his own freakish language (terra, tierney, etc.).

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2004-08-10 - 12:07 a.m.

Okay, I need a break from the depression-inducing "shrub." If anyone out there who knows me doesn't believe in the power of the Pixies - shame on them. Oh yeah, and then, lemme enlighten you...

One, two, three... She's a real left-winger 'cause she been down south
And held opossums in her arms, she said
"I could tell you stories that could make you cry. What about you?"
I said, "Me too. I could tell you a story that would make you cry."
And she sighed, "Ahh."
I said, "I want to be a singer like Lou Reed."
"I like Lou Reed," she said, sticking her tongue in my ear.
"Let's go, let's sit, let's talk, politics goes so good with beer.
"And while we're at it, baby, why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?"
I said, "Losing my penis to a whore with disease."
"Just kidding," I said. "Losing my life to a whore with disease."
She said, "Excuse me, please?"
I said, "Losing my life to a whore with disease."
I said, "Please."

Well, I'm a humble guy with healthy desire
Don't give me no shit because
I've been tired, I've been tired, I've been tired
I've been tired, I've been tired, I've been tired
I told the tale of a girl but I call her a woman
She's a little bit older than me
Strong legs, strong face, voice like milk, breasts like a cluster of grapes
I can't escape her ways she raise me
She make me feel like Solomon
Beware your babies even if you have no one
And while we're at it baby, why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?
You don't want to sleep after setting my loins on fire
Well, that's okay because
I've been tired, I've been tired, I've been tired...

If you don't feel moreso enlightened by this point, please talk to me and we shall see about enlightening, err, commencement, err, or some such event...

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2004-08-06 - 2:00 p.m.

NEW YORK: As if all the 'Bushisms' he has to his credit were not enough, President Bush has added yet another to his list.

According to New York Daily News, he was caught on a sticky wicket when he declared that his administration will "never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people" at a speech at the signing ceremony for a 417 billion pound defense spending bill.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we," he was quoted as saying.

C'mon people, we can do better than this for a president, we really can.

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2004-08-03 - 10:45 a.m.

Holy crap, I couldn't pass this up. I thought I'd be nice and pass it along.

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE
New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance
6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
6:46 PM Seminar #1: "Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment"
7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
7:35 PM Serve "Freedom Fries"
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, It's What's for Dinner"
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to pump Rush Limbaugh's stomach
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' that Man"
9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees: The real cause of forest fires"
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second prayer led by Cal Thomas
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: "Doublespeak Made Easy"
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration of how to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black republicans
10:45:30 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second Lecture by John Ashcroft: "Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult"
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
11:35 PM Blame Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

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2004-08-02 - 2:00 p.m.

First may I calmly say that Cyberpixels not only sucks balls as a hosting site, it sucks anything and everything worse than balls that one could imagine. In other words I say a sad and happy good-freakin' bye to the Vamphyr site.

With that out of the way - I feel better, I sure hope I was able to stop someone else from making the same mistake I did - I will now commence in getting back on track with entries to thisa here site. Might I also add that suggestions, insight, and any assistance (aside from mental) that anyone thinks would benefit thisa here site should feel free to offer it up bay-bee.

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Last five scrawlings:
Halloween_Rules - 2005-10-09
Hurricane_Katrina - 2005-09-01
Fuzzy_Drawers - 2005-08-29
How_Many - 2005-08-01
House_Ups_and_Downs - 2005-05-22



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